Body Image

I don't think I've ever met a girl that was completely satisfied with their body or how they looked. Growing up in today's world we have skinny, beautiful girls on instagram, on the magazine covers, all over guy's WCW. We think it's our job to live up to those expectations. Personally, I know I'm not fat, but that doesn't mean I don't feel fat. People can tell me till their blue in the face that I'm not fat, but I'll never believe them. Why? Because I have to compare myself to Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Kylie Jenner, etc. It's never ending for us girls.

Girls today go to extreme lengths to look perfect. It's sad really. Every single girl should feel beautiful no matter what they weigh or what size they wear. That sounds super easy, but it's quite the opposite. I think there's one thing I can personally do, that maybe everyone else should, too. STOP thinking Instagram is real. It is not. If you see Kylie Jenner with her pimpleless face and her shiny skin with perfect make-up realize this is an illusion. Not that Kylie isn't beautiful, but she's had lip injections, she has someone constantly doing her hair and her make-up, she has someone pick out her outfits.

Us girls have to stick together. It is so important to stand up for each other and to compliment each other. I love giving compliments. To see someone smile, because of just a little "I love your hair" or "your outfit looks perfect on you" is the best feeling. It isn't hard, it takes five seconds, and it can make a person's whole day. We have to ban together and try to defeat this "perfect" standard because guess what? Nothing is perfect. Imperfection is perfection. If everyone looked the same or wore the same size or had the same face, how boring would life be? We need diversity, we need different looks, we need to appreciate ourselves.

I've always had my own issues. My freckles, my HUGE head, my body, just to name a few. Then I realized, maybe this is something I'll struggle with forever, but my body does amazing things everyday. I can walk, I can run, I can throw a ball, I can climb, I can workout. I may not be a size 0, but I'm healthy. My body does what it needs to do to keep me alive every single day. I may be 22 and have freckles covering my face, but hey it hides pimples right? People always tell me what great skin I have, but nah it's just the freckles. Start looking on the positive side of things and make the best out of what God gave you.

Instead of looking in the mirror and picking out five things you hate about yourself every day, look for the good. Now, this is advice I have to follow as well. I am my own worst enemy, we are our own worst enemies, but we can do it. We can change what the world has created. We do not need to be perfect for anybody. Our bodies do not have to be a tiny size 0 for anybody. Our job is to not look good for anyone but ourselves.

Learn to love yourself for your personality and who you are, not what you look like. Beautiful people may not always be beautiful on the inside. Focus on making the inside beautiful, because that's what really matters.

~A

Dear Heaven

Dear Loved Ones In Heaven,

       I hope Heaven is treating you well. You probably have the best view up there. Can you see California or maybe Hawaii, what about Paris? I've always wanted to travel around and I bet you get to do that a whole lot. Maybe when we meet again, you can show me all those places. I'd love to see them and especially with you.
   
      I know you're always with me, but sometimes I can't help but feel alone. Losing you was hard and it felt like I would never get over it. I know Heaven is a great place but Earth can be too and I wanted more time with you. I have spent every day thinking about you and what you must be up to. I hope you found some old family members or maybe some friends up there to spend your time with. I heard time slows down up there, like maybe by the time I get to see you again, it was only like a week long when really it was years down here.

      Do you ever miss us down here on Earth? I hope you don't feel guilty for leaving. God must have a plan and although I don't know it, I hope you do. Spending these days apart have been hard and sometimes I think of the things I wish we could do. Time heals all wounds? Now, I don't know if my wounds of losing you are gone, but maybe they've shrunk a little bit. Not because I don't miss you, I do a whole lot, but because I know that you are meant to be there and I'm meant to be here. One day we'll see each other again.

      After you left, I was confused. So many questions flooded my brain from why did you have to go to why do I still get to be here? I don't think those questions will ever be answered, but I have to let them go and know this was how it's supposed to be. It'll never make sense to me, but that's how it'll have to be I guess.

     You've missed a lot down here, although I'm sure you're keeping a close eye on us. Donald Trump is running for president, do you believe it? Bet you thought you saw it all. Computers now can be portable and not like chunky laptops, like slim cool (expensive) laptops. IPhones are almost as big as your head now. Everyone is still keeping up with the Kardashians like 11 seasons later. Friends and Fuller House are coming back! Remember those shows? Hmm I think that all about hits the pop culture, at least the important stuff. (Haha none of that is important). I wish you could see all the crazy stuff happening down here.

     Spending time with you was my favorite. You taught me a lot and I'm thankful for that. Sometimes life throws you curveballs. All I really care about is that you're happy. If you're happy and healthy wherever you are, then I'm happy too. I hope you're enjoying Heaven and spending your time doing what you love.  Make sure to keep watching over me. I know I have some guardian angels up there and I feel blessed. I'll never ever forget you and I hope you'll never forget me.

xoxo,
Your loved one

Spring Has Sprung

Spring Semester that is. The one day a semester where girls wear jeans and make-up and guys shave their winter break beard. Ok I don't know if that's true but for me, I wore jeans and make-up. Tomorrow will most likely be back to my gym clothes.

It's time to say bye to winter break and look forward to spring break. Classes are in full force and now's a better time than any to make some goals. Not only is it a new semester, it's a new year and you can set some resolutions as well as some semester goals. Make deans list, go out for that cool club you've been looking at, talk to new people, buy more coffee. Whatever it is, you have to commit.

This is my 8th semester in college (wow). Normally, this is people's last semester but for me I still have three to go because I could never figure out what I wanted to do. This semester I'm finally starting a major I hope to love which I really think I will. Criminal Justice.  The most interesting subject to enter colleges everywhere. Bad people fascinate me and I can't wait for the day that I finally get to work with them. That kind of sounds weird, but I hope you know what I mean. I want to understand WHY they're bad. Why instead of having an argument with someone where you say mean things, WHY did you take it to the level of shooting them in the face? Why did you run over a person and not stop? Why did you spend months planning out the murder of your boss? All of these questions and millions of more fascinate me.

See, I can get pretty mad sometimes. If somebody does something to piss me off, you usually can tell. BUT I would never think about killing them because they made me angry. And although I feel like most people do think that way, some don't. There are also those killers who seem to have a normal life, sometimes even a good life that people are jealous of, and then they just snap.

Well enough about me, but let's just say I hope this semester treats me well. I have some goals in mind and I'm sure a lot of people do as well. Most people my age have graduating as a goal so if that's yours congrats, I'm proud of you and I know you'll do it. Personally, I'll save that goal for 2017.

This is a new semester to improve yourself. Strive for more and don't give up. You have 14-15 weeks depending on your school I suppose, to work hard in school and get good grades, maybe even find a killer internship for the summer. The reward at the end of this? Summer. Summer is the light at the end of the tunnel and you can do it.

You got this.

~A

New Year, Better Me

Happy 2016! How crazy that another year has just flown by and here we are in 2016. Honestly, for me, 2015 was a very tough, horrible year and I'm happy to see it go. Now I am ready to focus on 2016 and make it the best ever! I think every year you hear the phrase, new year, new me. Kind of annoying right? Like what you're going to change your life every single year? You're going to change everything about yourself every year? Eh, highly doubt that. How about new year, better you? You can always better yourself. Let's be real, one day doesn't change your life. Knowing that the year changes definitely gives me a different feel, like okay it's a whole new year to kind of change what I don't like about my life, and add in some stuff that I do like. I think it's definitely a good chance to reflect on your life. You can't change your whole self though, you just can't. Here's my top five new year, new me advice to myself and if it helps you, that's cool too.

1. Cut out the negative 
   Sounds easy right? Wrong. Sometimes you don't realize something is negative right away and that's okay. I slowly am beginning to see what negatively affects my life and I'm going to start cutting it out asap! Don't need anything in your 2016 that brings you downnnnn.

2. Exercise
   LOL. Everybody says this, but for me, exercising is SO important. I deal with my anxiety disorder every single day and one thing that tends to help me is exercising. So not only do I want to be in good shape, I also want to keep my mental health in check! Also, unlike most people, I like this resolution for people. What is so wrong with wanting to start off 2016 healthy? Some people do stick to it, they really do. So don't be a hater when the gym is crowded, be proud of your peers who are working their asses off!

3. Study study study
     Study what you love. This semester I am finally starting a major that I love and I am ready for it! My problem is, I'm lazy af. Truly am. My goal for this year is to change that about myself. Study as hard as I can and pull out those grades that I know that I can! I'm paying so much money for college, why wouldn't I work my ass off for it? Dean's list here I come.

4. Social Media is fake
   Hi, my name is Amanda and I'm addicted to social media. I can't help it. I grow up in an era where likes matter and how many followers you have matter. I grow up in a time where people edit their faces and take selfies at the best angle with the best light when really they have a huge pimple on their head and they edited out the bags under their eyes. Come on. Social Media is not reality. I absolutely adore pictures so of course I love instagram. This year I am not going to worry about who likes my pictures, who follows or unfollows me. I am going to post what I want on twitter, instagram, facebook BECAUSE IT'S MINE. Why should I care what anyone else thinks about my posts? They're MY POSTS. Kk cool.

5. Forgive and forget
   I hold onto things like tight. I usually forgive very easily and I do actually like that about myself. All I need is a sincere apology, and hey we're cool. The forgetting part is my toughest part. I can't forget anything. I am that girl who is up till midnight because I can't figure out how to move past something. I'm okay with the person or whatever the circumstance is that happened, but I'm still thinking about it. That's a serious goal for me.

2016 can be your year. Go into each year feeling like you are about to take on the world. This is your year, let's do it!

Happy 2016, New Year, Better You! 


~A